Who can take what?

A practical worksheet for sharing family care without pretending everyone has the same time, money or distance to travel

Republic of Ireland only · Last reviewed: 18 July 2026

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Before you begin

Care rarely divides into equal hours. Someone nearby may do more visits. Someone further away may be able to handle forms, calls or bills.
Fair does not have to mean identical. It does mean that the work is visible, agreed and not left in one person's head.
Complete this with your relative involved wherever possible. Start with what they want and what they are comfortable sharing.

Write in the details

Relative's name:

Date of family conversation:

Review date:

Checklist

1. What matters to our relative?

Prompts

What help do they want?:

What do they want to keep doing themselves?:

Who do they want involved?:

Is there information they do not want shared across the family?:

2. Make the work visible

List what is happening now, including the small recurring jobs that are easy to overlook. Do not allocate anything yet.

Table

Task	How often?	Needs someone nearby?	Who does it now?
V	i	s	i	t	s		o	r		c	o	m	p	a	n	i	o	n	s	h	i	p
S	h	o	p	p	i	n	g		o	r		m	e	a	l	s
T	r	a	n	s	p	o	r	t
A	p	p	o	i	n	t	m	e	n	t	s
P	h	a	r	m	a	c	y		o	r		p	r	e	s	c	r	i	p	t	i	o	n	s
F	o	r	m	s		a	n	d		e	n	t	i	t	l	e	m	e	n	t	s
B	i	l	l	s		o	r		h	o	u	s	e	h	o	l	d		a	d	m	i	n
C	a	l	l	s		t	o		s	e	r	v	i	c	e	s
R	e	g	u	l	a	r		c	h	e	c	k	-	i	n		c	a	l	l
H	o	m	e		o	r		g	a	r	d	e	n		t	a	s	k
R	e	s	e	a	r	c	h	i	n	g		o	p	t	i	o	n	s
O	t	h	e	r

3. What can each person genuinely offer?

Table

Person	Location	Time available	Remote tasks	Contribution if offered	Limits to respect

A financial contribution must be freely discussed and agreed. Do not assume that a sibling who earns more can pay, or that money gives someone control over care decisions.

4. Agree named responsibilities

Table

Task	Named person	Backup	When/how often?	First action and date

Keep the agreement practical

'Someone' is not a named person.
Every recurring task needs a frequency.
Every essential task needs a backup or an agreed service to call.

5. Agree how you will communicate

Prompts

Main place for updates:

What counts as urgent:

Who is contacted first in an emergency:

What information can be shared:

What requires our relative's agreement first:

Next 20-minute check-in:

6. If the plan still leaves a gap

Prompts

The remaining gaps are:

Our next outside contact:

Who will contact them?:

By what date?:

Who could help

GP or relevant healthcare professional
HSE or local Home Support Office
Hospital discharge coordinator or medical social worker
Family Carers Ireland
Citizens Information
Another service

A way to start the conversation

I am currently covering __________. I cannot keep covering all of it. Could we spend 20 minutes listing the work and agreeing one named task for each person?

Your next step

This is a working agreement, not a verdict on who cares most. Review it after two to four weeks. If something is not working, name the task and change the plan rather than letting resentment do the talking.

Important

This resource is general information, not a medical assessment and not medical, legal or financial advice.
Where possible, involve your relative in decisions, ask what support they want and respect their wishes. Concern does not remove their voice.
If someone needs immediate medical help or is at immediate risk of harm, call 112 or 999.

Sources

Checked 18 July 2026. Links may change.

Task	How often?	Needs someone nearby?	Who does it now?
V	i	s	i	t	s		o	r		c	o	m	p	a	n	i	o	n	s	h	i	p
S	h	o	p	p	i	n	g		o	r		m	e	a	l	s
T	r	a	n	s	p	o	r	t
A	p	p	o	i	n	t	m	e	n	t	s
P	h	a	r	m	a	c	y		o	r		p	r	e	s	c	r	i	p	t	i	o	n	s
F	o	r	m	s		a	n	d		e	n	t	i	t	l	e	m	e	n	t	s
B	i	l	l	s		o	r		h	o	u	s	e	h	o	l	d		a	d	m	i	n
C	a	l	l	s		t	o		s	e	r	v	i	c	e	s
R	e	g	u	l	a	r		c	h	e	c	k	-	i	n		c	a	l	l
H	o	m	e		o	r		g	a	r	d	e	n		t	a	s	k
R	e	s	e	a	r	c	h	i	n	g		o	p	t	i	o	n	s
O	t	h	e	r

Task	How often?	Needs someone nearby?	Who does it now?
V	i	s	i	t	s		o	r		c	o	m	p	a	n	i	o	n	s	h	i	p
S	h	o	p	p	i	n	g		o	r		m	e	a	l	s
T	r	a	n	s	p	o	r	t
A	p	p	o	i	n	t	m	e	n	t	s
P	h	a	r	m	a	c	y		o	r		p	r	e	s	c	r	i	p	t	i	o	n	s
F	o	r	m	s		a	n	d		e	n	t	i	t	l	e	m	e	n	t	s
B	i	l	l	s		o	r		h	o	u	s	e	h	o	l	d		a	d	m	i	n
C	a	l	l	s		t	o		s	e	r	v	i	c	e	s
R	e	g	u	l	a	r		c	h	e	c	k	-	i	n		c	a	l	l
H	o	m	e		o	r		g	a	r	d	e	n		t	a	s	k
R	e	s	e	a	r	c	h	i	n	g		o	p	t	i	o	n	s
O	t	h	e	r

Task	How often?	Needs someone nearby?	Who does it now?
V	i	s	i	t	s		o	r		c	o	m	p	a	n	i	o	n	s	h	i	p
S	h	o	p	p	i	n	g		o	r		m	e	a	l	s
T	r	a	n	s	p	o	r	t
A	p	p	o	i	n	t	m	e	n	t	s
P	h	a	r	m	a	c	y		o	r		p	r	e	s	c	r	i	p	t	i	o	n	s
F	o	r	m	s		a	n	d		e	n	t	i	t	l	e	m	e	n	t	s
B	i	l	l	s		o	r		h	o	u	s	e	h	o	l	d		a	d	m	i	n
C	a	l	l	s		t	o		s	e	r	v	i	c	e	s
R	e	g	u	l	a	r		c	h	e	c	k	-	i	n		c	a	l	l
H	o	m	e		o	r		g	a	r	d	e	n		t	a	s	k
R	e	s	e	a	r	c	h	i	n	g		o	p	t	i	o	n	s
O	t	h	e	r